Out From Under
by Mrs.Williamthebloody
Summary: "I don't know Alex, I can't explain it," he sighed.  "I know how you're feeling, how you've been feeling. It's exactly the same way I feel." Jalex. Oneshot.


It was the last day he would be living there. She knew it was coming. She had known the moment he sent out his college applications that their days together were numbered. When his acceptance letter had come in the mail, she had, had to fight with herself in order to keep from destroying it before he had a chance to open it. When she had held it out for him to take she couldn't let go of it, gripping it with all her strength. Unable to remove it from her fist, he had looked her in the eyes and they had both known instantly what the letter meant.

He had sat her down later that night and made sure she knew without a doubt how badly he would miss her. Knew that all their fighting had lead to an irreplaceable friendship and bond that would not be forgotten. She had stayed strong, smiling at him weakly and returning the sentiment.

They tried to spend time alone together between the arrival of the letter and the day he was to leave, but she wasn't the only one who craved his attention and they had both ached over the loss of the times they could have had.

It hurt more then she could describe as she gathered in the foyer of her home with all of her family members to say goodbye to her big brother. She watched silently as her dad held back tears while giving Justin a manly pat on the back, looked away when her mom cried while hugging him tightly and blinked back tears when Max played it cool initiating a fist bump before giving him a quick hug.

She was next and she didn't know if she could hold it together long enough to keep up the pretense of carrying solely platonic feelings for him. She took a deep breath before stepping towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing her eyes shut tightly as she pressed her cheek against his chest. She longed to feel his hands in her hair as he kissed her deeply, but knew that under the circumstances that wouldn't be appropriate.

"I'm going to miss you," she said her voice quivering slightly.

"I'll miss you too," he responded wrapping his arms around her shoulders and holding her against him slightly tighter than necessary. He eyed his parents carefully before lowering his head next to hers and whispering into her ear.

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and a second later she reluctantly pulled away from him. Not a minute later he was gone, leaving them all to awkwardly stare at the door in his wake. She stood united with them for a moment before gracefully excusing herself to her bedroom. She had to stop herself from running as she thought about what waited for her inside. Arriving at its entrance, she held the doorknob to her room shakily and took a deep breath before turning it and pushing her way inside.

Now standing on the other side of her door looking down at her feet, she gripped the knob behind her back with both hands, leaning into it and closing it. He said he would meet her there, had whispered it in her ear, but she was afraid to look up, afraid he wouldn't be there when she did. Looking at the ground gave her hope that he was there and kept her fears of abandonment at bay.

She heard him then, heard his unsteady breathing as walked lightly towards her.

"Alex," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

She refused to raise her eyes afraid he would vanish if she dared.

"Alex," he said once more. "I'm here, look at me."

Stubborn as ever, she tightened her two fisted grip on the doorknob at her back and stared at the ground as if trying to burn a hole through it.

She hadn't realized how close he had gotten until she felt his fingers beneath her chin, raising her face up to his. Only then did she accept his presence as reality and bring her gaze up to meet his.

They stared at each other for a moment before he bent his neck slightly to rest his forehead against hers, eyes now closed, his hands moved behind her back and pried her fingers off of the doorknob in order to intertwine them with his own. They stood silently breathing in each other's scent.

She was the first to break the silence.

"It shouldn't be this hard Justin," she began, her voice quiet and shaky. "Big brothers leave for college all the time, sisters get over it."

"I know," he whispered.

"Then why is it? Why is it so hard? Why does it hurt so much?" she said, tears slipping from her eyes. "Why does it feel…like…like…" she trailed off, afraid to say the words out loud.

A moment passed in silence before Justin finished where she'd left of, "Like we're breaking up?"

"Yeah," she managed between sobs.

"I don't know Alex, I can't explain it," he sighed. "I know how you're feeling, how you've been feeling. It's exactly the same way I feel. It's part of the reason why I chose a school so far away."

He heard and felt her shake with tears, but couldn't bring himself to open his eyes and look at her.

"I love you. But we shouldn't be around each other right now. These feelings, they…" he stumbled, searching for the best way to put it. "They aren't…right."

He knew the words were true, but they somehow felt wrong to him. How could loving someone so deeply not be right?

"I have to leave now," he said, giving her hands a quick squeeze before letting go and standing up straight.

Finally opening his eyes, he looked straight into her big, brown, innocent, teary ones and brought his hand up to her cheek. Against his better judgment, he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her soft full lips before taking a step back.

"Take care of yourself Alex," was the last thing he said before disappearing.

Her eyes searched the room, hoping in vain that he was still there somewhere. Her tears were running down her cheeks freely now and she brought her arms around her, clutching her stomach before sliding down her door and crumpling to the floor.

"I love you too," she whispered to him despite him being long gone.

* * *

Okay lovelies, while I should really be working on my other stories I got this idea last night and had to write it down. I'm fairly new to this pairing and to be honest it took me a while to get used to it, but now I'm hooked. I've been a bit weary of writing one myself, but hopefully you all enjoy it. Thanks for reading and feedback is much appreciated.


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